(Inspired by the Late Sir Terry Pratchett)
Down on your luck while down in the dungeon? Didn't bring enough torches? Halfling eating all your rations? Well have we got the item for you! And it can be paid off in several easy installations!*
This cube is the size of a small parcel. It is brown and made of some sort of pliable material. On the front of the box is a small hatch. If a character knocks on the hatch (or yells loud enough) the hatch will open revealing a small imp in a purple vest standing behind a small desk.
The Imp is a special dimensional employee of the Imp-ressive™ Delivery Service. Characters may order any amount of items available from the nearest city or large pocket of civilization partnered with the service program.* The package usually arrives in one day, with a "Thank You for shopping with us!" tag attached.
The prices fluctuate per individual order placement (convenience fees, shipping and handling, taxes, levies and other factors are allegedly part of this process, Roll a d20 below for the mark up on all items)
d20
1-10: 75%
11-13: 90%
14-16: 100%
17-19: 125%
20: 150%
Lets face it, only the gods know how long this particular imp has suffered this shift; what you do know that the blasted little thing is getting a little antsy. If used more than once per day or if treated poorly; the Imp will get more and more frustrated, prompting a roll on the Imp-rofessional Conduct Table.
d20 (roll secretly)
1-5:Strained (The imp smiles to hide the pain, but continues to work as normal)
6-11: Late delivery (roll 1d4 and add that many days for transit)
12-16: Willful ignorance (1d6+1 items are swapped out for a random item)
13-16: "Let me get the manager..." (Something has "gone wrong" and now you have to deal with the imps manager. But don't worry they'll totally get this under control... Combine the results of Late Delivery and Willful Ignorance with an additional 25% mark up!)
17-19: Strike! (The Imp immediately closes the hatch with a string of curses. The order is cancelled, and the box cannot be opened for 1d8+1 days. However, the next time the cube is used; a new hire has taken the imps place and incurs no roll on the Imp-rofessional Conduct table. "Feckin' new hire boot licking sons of-"
20: "FOR THE IMP-ROLETARIAT!" (Enough is enough! Either you have pushed them to far or you just decided to shop on a bad day; what ever the case you now have a revolution to deal with!* 1d20+10 imps come pouring out of the cube ready to fight the oppressors! They are armed with with Imp-rovised weaponry that deal 1d4 damage each; and are led by a level 3 magic user Imp, roll for spells as needed)
Furthermore, the box itself seems Imp-ervious to damage and magic. The imp itself is immune to all mind altering and charm effects; but is quite vulnerable to physical damage. If the imp is killed, a new Imp will take its place; this imp will automatically roll on the Imp-rofessional Conduct table, and every Imp after will add another roll. (which would mean that the third imp would roll twice on the table, the fourth would roll four times, etc, etc...)
Imp-roffesional conduct resets at the the end of the week.
Additionally, pulling the imp out of its box puts a now very irritated imp and a Nether Realm branded lawsuit on your hands.
*Coins, gems, unicorn fur, souls and assorted first born are all accepted!
*This could be rather awkward if someone found out you were accidentally bankrolling the local Orc tribe with your purchases
*The Imp-ressive Delivery service is not liable for any damages caused by former employees and extenuating circumstance. Please refer to our Policy notice board located in the 11th layer of the Underworld for more information.
